


Restless Heart Syndrome

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Author projecting onto Adam for 1100 words, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Heavy Angst, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Self-Destruction, Toxic Relationships, Vent Piece, Writing is my way of processing my own experiences, the dark order just wants to make hangy happy, this is overall pretty sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 16:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30125871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: He’s cursed, he’s sure of it. He destroys everything.
Relationships: Ibushi Kota/Kenny Omega, Kenny Omega/"Hangman" Adam Page
Kudos: 15





	Restless Heart Syndrome

Adam Page is full of poison.

He knows it. He's seen it, how poison-dipped fingertips corrupt everything he touches. He ruins every perfect thing that comes into his life, burns it to ash, watches it crumple and wither like photographs of memories, tossed in the flames. 

He's destined to be alone, how could he not be, when he tears apart everything that is beautiful. He should just lay here in the broken glass and spilt whiskey and give up on everything. The world will forget him in no time, and he'll be but a fleeting memory. 

A hand reaches out from the darkness, followed by many others, calloused from many hours in the ring. The Dark Order tries to bring him some small semblance of comfort.

Adam's hand shakes as he reaches out to take it, but something in him hesitates. They're so trusting. So innocent. Just like he had been.

He can't.

Adam doesn't want to hurt them, but horrible things always follow him wherever he goes, like a cloud of acrid smoke. He can never hold his breath long enough to evade it, the more he runs from it the more dust he kicks up, the more this sickness spreads.

Just when he thinks he may finally crawl out of the grave Kenny pushed him into, he's dragged back down. The Dark Order were hurt because of him. He destroys everything he touches.

He wasn’t always this destructive, he wasn’t always this way, he knows it. He knows that Kenny’s twisted love took its toll on him. Take, take, taking until there was nothing left for Adam to give, until all his love was spent.

He still remembers how it all started.

Something in him had known it was a bad idea from the outset, but he still offered this inelegant form of pity. If he had known than what he knew now, he never would have suggested it. He would have stayed far away, ran from it all.

He couldn’t say Kenny hadn’t warned him. He’d accepted the offer, but he had tried to protect Adam from this curse.

He wishes he had listened.

“I’m... cursed. Every time I find somebody... they get hurt. I’ll only let you down, I’m sick, believe me. I make bad things happen, even when I don’t mean to. You shouldn’t feel sorry for me. I brought this upon myself.”

He had told him over and over that without Kota he doesn’t think he knows how to love, that he feels his heart is still in Japan where he left it, that he feels nothing but a void in his chest. He told him that he isn’t whole, there’s something missing, something so vital that he doesn’t think he can be called a human anymore. He tells him that he breaks everything he touches.

Adam had looked at him with those innocent blue eyes and told him he’s sure that Kenny wasn’t seeing things clearly. Told him that he understands if Kenny isn’t ready for a relationship so soon after Kota, but that he’s sure Kenny won’t hurt him. There’s trust and caring in his eyes as he tells Kenny that he loves him.

“I love you, Kenny. If you just don’t want this, that’s alright, I’m not going to force you into a relationship you don’t want. But I promise there is nothing wrong with you.” 

Kenny down for a moment, before looking at him and cupping his face with his hand. “I only hope you understand what you are getting into.” He says, brushing his thumb across Adam’s cheek. “I’m only warning you because I care.”

There’s venom under his fingernails, poison on his lips. Adam surged forward to kiss him, shows just how sure he is, how ready he is to love Kenny.

There had been something in Kenny’s eyes, that night in the bar, the same bar where Adam lays now. Something like fear, not of Adam, but of himself.

He can’t continue like this. He lets go of the helping hands that try to guide him, he lets himself tumble. He cries out a feeble apology as he falls, falls back into the grave Kenny helped dig.

Pieces of himself slowly slip away, but he doesn’t care, just traces his fingers over the forming cracks as he watches himself fall apart. 

Kenny is watching from afar, eyes filled with pity and sorrow. He never wanted this for him, he tried to dissuade him from trying to help, tried to shield Adam from himself.

He lets go of the bravado for a moment. It’s just them, just the two of them in the bar. Kenny walks over, every step like an earthquake. Every motion is cautions, tentative, but still sends shockwaves through Adam’s world.

He kneels beside him, puts a hand on his shoulder. Tears are filling his eyes, he’s rendered unable to speak.He never meant for Adam to fall like this, everything about him is pleading to be saved. Adam flinches away like he’s been burned.

“Don’t touch me!” Adam begs. Kenny obliges, he probably should have thought that one through a bit better. By the slurring of his words, Kenny knows he’s drunk, but not as much as he would like to be. His eyes are still blue as ever, still beautiful. 

“If you touch me... I’ll break you. I break everything.” Adam sobs out, and Kenny feels the absence in his chest constrict. If he had heartstrings, they would be tugged, but he doesn’t. He’s empty inside.

Kenny hates the feeling, hates himself more for involuntarily cursing Adam with this feeling. For breaking him.

“Shh. It’s okay. You won’t break me. I’m already broken.” Tears spill down Adam’s cheeks as he looks at him. He hates this, hates himself for ever bringing Adam into this. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered feebly. “I’m sorry for being so selfish. I should never have let this happen. I tried to warn you... I-” he swallowed thickly. “What have I done? I never wanted this....”

“It’s not your fault.” Adam says timidly through the hiccuping sobs.

“I need you to look at me, Adam.” He cups his face in both hands. “You need to fight for them. Don’t let them slip away, they love you so goddamn much. You won’t hurt them more than they can take, they’re willing to fight for you. They love you, please, give them a chance to show it.”

Adam knows he’s talking about the Dark Order. 

“But what if I fail them?” His voice is small.

“You won’t, every time you fall they’ll help you up. I know it. I believe in you. Go be happy, please.” A tear slides down his face. He closes his eyes, remembers Kota’s smile for a moment. 

“Never run from the people who love you, Adam. Take it from me... it will only hurt you more than you can ever know.”


End file.
